


cause i'm mr brightside

by NotRyanRoss



Series: Darkside!Verse (The Illegal Vampire Assassin Agency) [1]
Category: Bandom, Gerard Way and the Hormones, My Chemical Romance, The Used, frnkiero andthe cellabration
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Character Turned Into Vampire, M/M, Vampire Biting, Vampire Hunters, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 05:17:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6361006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotRyanRoss/pseuds/NotRyanRoss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Vampires are dangerous, keep your stakes close, and don't put your hands through the bars to play with their teeth. I know. The only person that didn't know that was dumbass McCracken."</p>
            </blockquote>





	cause i'm mr brightside

"You've got number seventeen again, Iero. Feed him the out-of-date stuff, no one cares," Ray said as Frank entered the facility, still adjusting the oversized belt of stakes clattering on his waist. The receptionist was sitting at the front desk as usual, all his awards for impounding and valiant vampire murder laid out behind him in various shades of gold and silver.

Frank grimaced, but nodded in assent. "Why do I always get _him_? Can't I have one of the level three ones?"

"We all have our crosses to bear," Ray said. "Remember..."

"Vampires are dangerous, keep your stakes close, and don't put your hands through the bars to play with their teeth. I know. The only person that didn't know that was dumbass McCracken."

"Alright. Off you go, Iero."

Frank let out an angry huff and smacked his keycard against the scanner roughly, walking impatiently through the door before it had opened fully. He stalked down the hall, stopping briefly in the break room to toss his lunch in there. Bob Bryar was sitting in a chair, playing on his phone. He looked up, took one look at Frank's mood and gave him a sympathetic smirk.

"Lucky number seventeen again?"

"Yeah," Frank said heavily.

"Sucks, man. I had him last week and he kept asking for _pencils_. Like, you think he'd understand he's an animal, he doesn't get gifts. I hate the ones that pretend they're still human. Creepy fuckers."

Frank grunted agreeably and shoved his small tub of tofu behind the six-pack of Bud Light in the fridge. He slammed the door shut and caught the bags Bob threw at him with one hand. True to his own moral conduct, he didn't look at the blood, just grumbled something under his breath and stalked out the room again, making his way down the hall.

"Iero! Hey, what's new?"

"Fuckin' vamps, man," Frank said wearily, allowing Jepha to grab him around the waist and give him a hearty hug. He smelled like sweat and dried blood, which meant he'd probably been on feeding duty before Frank.

"Fuckin' vamps," Jepha agreed. "One day we'll get cleared to just stake 'em all."

"We can hope," was what Frank said with a macabre smile. "Now move your fat ass and let me do my job, dickwad."

Jepha stepped aside willingly and strode off down the hall, swinging a stake cheerfully and whistling. Frank went down the stairs to the heavy door painted an ominous blood-red and shoved it open with one shoulder. It wasn't the easiest to push open, but there were reasons for that. Frank pushed the door shut with one boot and turned around.

It smelled like _death_ in here.

He tried not to retch as he counted the doors out of habit, passed number four and heard a loud snarl, passed number ten and heard off-key singing. It sounded like Iron Maiden, butchered though it was. He passed all the other doors and heard nothing at all to indicate any sort of life, probably because there wasn't any. Not really, anyway.

Then he stopped in front of door seventeen, eyed the card next to the door. The picture was old, maybe five years or so, but it wasn't like they aged at all so it didn't really matter. He was smiling in the picture, tiny pointed teeth showing and a cigarette clamped between his lips. There was smudged eyeliner around his bright eyes and every time Frank saw the photo, he wanted to fix it, reach past the film somehow and redo it. Redo it all.

**Patient Number Seventeen**  
**Corpse Name: Gerard Arthur Way**  
**Date of Death: 18/4/2005**  
**Status: Undead (Level Two)**

He knocked on the door, made an abrasive face in case another guard walked by and wondered why he was touching the ID. "Seventeen, munchies. Step away from the door."

He didn't hear a verbal response but there was movement in the room beyond nonetheless, shuffling. Something fell over with a loud clunk. Clumsy motherfucker. He was supposed to _hide_ the art supplies Frank gave him, not get them out when it was feeding time.

Frank opened the door and slipped in, shutting it behind him, and finally let an amused smile curl his lips. "Gee?"

"Frankie!"

The gleeful sound of Gerard's voice had Frank's heart beating faster almost immediately, and he held out his arms to catch the vampire in a hug. Gerard giggled and patted at his face, breathed in loudly, which would have been weird if it wasn't him. The vampire himself didn't smell like anything at all, no sweat or deodorant or anything. If he'd been human, he might have smelt like vomit or piss or something equally sick and disgusting, because the quarters here weren't exactly great. It was the only good thing about Gerard being undead.

"You smell like _rain_ ," Gerard said reverently, inhaling behind Frank's ear. Frank let out a chuckle.

"That good?"

"Yeah, it is. I fucking love rain."

"Glad I'm your personal air freshener. Here, food."

Gerard took one of the bags of blood and ripped open one corner carefully, only starting to suck at it when Frank turned away to pull some stuff out of his rucksack. How had he gotten caught up with a considerate vamp, honestly. Gerard wouldn't even drink blood in front of him out of respect of Frank's veganism.

"Done," he affirmed after a few seconds and Frank turned around again and was greeted with a messy smile.

Frank smiled as well. "I have something from your brother."

"Mikey sent me something?"

The excitement in Gerard's voice was palpable, even moreso with his hands flapping around energetically, motioning for Frank to hand over the letter. He did, unable to stop Gerard's happiness spreading.

"Dear Gerard," he read out cheerfully. "No, just kidding, asswipe. You're not dear at all. Having fun in your own little Hell? Not for long. The bill for vampire citizenship in Canada just got passed. There's none of that pound bullshit there. Frank's agreed to bust you out so we can finally meet up. It'll be nice to see your ugly face for real, instead of in photos that mom used to cry over. Mikes."

Gerard's wide eyes turned to Frank. "Is this..."

"Yep," Frank said. "We're getting you out of this hellhole. Put this on."

He passed Gerard a hoodie and jeans, old clothes of his that were too big but a luxury compared to the nudity vampires were forced into here. Immediately the vampire noticed the Smashing Pumpkins logo on the sweatshirt and his grin got even brighter as he pulled it over his head, struggling to get the zipper unstuck from his greasy hair. Then he looked back up at Frank, eyes questioning.

"How are we-?"

"Back door," Frank said grimly. "Ray's on duty at front so we shouldn't run into him, but if you see his hair, run as fast as those fucking dead legs will take you."

"Okay," Gerard answered quietly, tucking the letter into the jacket and pulling the hood over his head. It didn't hide the delicate angle of his nose or the porcelain of his skin, but hopefully they'd still be able to get away with it. Who else would be around at this time, anyway?

Frank stifled the clench of fear in his chest and grabbed Gerard's hand. It was cold, but he got a comforting squeeze nonetheless.

The halls were relatively empty in the back of the building, probably because no one would go near the Sires voluntarily. They didn't need feeding, so they were just left to rot in their silver-lined, titanium cells. Gerard squeaked in fear when one bared her long, rotted fangs (practically tusks) at him and tried to hide behind Frank, who ignored the gold-eyed woman profusely.

"Pretty little fang-child," she spoke to Gerard. "Won't you let me free?"

"I'm so sorry, I can't, I'm busy right now," Gerard answered hurriedly as Frank yanked him along.

"Here," Frank said, opening the door with his keycard and shoving Gerard out into the alleyway, making him stumble out into the rain. He himself stood at the doorway with one foot holding it open, just enough light to see Gerard's face.

Gerard stood stock-still for a few seconds like the water had frightened him, and then tilted his head up slowly. Frank saw the raindrops hit his face and Gerard let out a delighted laugh.

"It's _raining_ ," he exclaimed, waving his arms about. "Frank, it's rain! Look at it!"

Frank couldn't help laughing at the ridiculous scene. "Don't get too wet or Mikey won't let you in his car."

"Motherfucker," Gerard said fondly, and then he was right in Frank's face again, big eyes reflecting the light. Frank tilted his head up when Gerard's cold fingers touched his cheek, met his gaze. In the light, he could see the sheen of gold-yellow in Gerard's irises, part of his brain screaming that this was a predator.

"Thank you so much, Frankie," Gerard said softly, pressing their lips together.

The kiss was gentle, just like Frank had imagined and predicted Gerard would be. Gerard was cradling his cheek softly, like he was worried Frank would break if he so much as had a firmer hold. Frank made a hitching gasp into the kiss, and Gerard made a pleased noise and swiped his tongue along Frank's bottom lip before drawing back.

"Come with me," Gerard said urgently.

"I-"

"Hey! What the _fuck_ are you doing?!"

" _Run_!"

Frank pushed Gerard down the alleyway roughly, slammed the door shut to buy a few seconds of time. If Ray was coming there was a slim chance Gerard would survive by running, let alone staying. Gerard didn't budge though, even as Frank shoved at him desperately.

"You're going to die if you stay, you dumb fuck," Frank shouted, drawing his gun and ignoring the way tears started to blur the edge of his vision.

"And what about you, huh? Vampire sympathizers get murdered too," Gerard snarled at him, the first show of aggression Frank had ever seen from him.

The door slammed open again and Frank pointed the gun, aimed, until he was yanked back roughly into a soft body.

" _Stupid_ ," Gerard hissed, fangs slicing into Frank's neck.

Frank let out a startled whimper, jerking in Gerard's arms. It _hurt_ , but it also didn't, like being under the needle for a tattoo, and there was static in his vision and he couldn't _breathe_ -

He awoke with a gasp, and there was no air to breathe.

"Fuck," he choked, scrabbling at the hospital sheets violently until his fingers hit something solid and he grabbed at Bob's hand. Bob didn't hold his hand, whipped his own away and stared down at him instead.

"Hey, guys, he's alive!"

Blurry faces filled his vision. Bob, Jepha, even that weirdo Otter from maintenance.

"Frank, you're alive!"

"What happened?" Frank's voice was more than a croak.

"You got attacked by a vamp, dude! You're so lucky you're alive!"

"Fuckin' animals, man," Bob added to Jepha's recap.

"We'll track him down and kill him good, don't worry."

"Smear him on the sidewalk, eh?"

"I..."

"Mr Iero?" He looked over at the frightened-looking nurse, clenching her clipboard and smiling tensely at them.

"Your boyfriend and his...brother? Yes, his brother are here to take you home. Your injuries are minor, so we can dispatch you in a few hours," she said. "But we have a limit of three visitors, so if you gentlemen wouldn't mind..."

"Boyfriend? Iero, you dog," Jepha said playfully, but they all got up to leave. Frank didn't wave as they did.

He didn't have a boyfriend.

The nurse stepped out of the doorway a few seconds later, and Frank was greeted with the sight of Mikey Way in all his awkward, long-legged glory. Frank frowned, sat up and tried to ignore the wave of dizziness this induced.

"Mikey? What are you-"

"I am not responsible for this," Mikey cut in, "and I do _not_ condone you seducing my brother, but-"

"Frankie!"

"...Gee?"

Because there was Gerard Arthur Way, wearing black skinny jeans and a sleeveless black shirt that showed half of his ribs, and his hair was firetruck red. Literal firetruck red.

He beamed and made his way to Frank's bedside, where he was promptly slapped across the face by said patient.

"Frankie," Mikey admonished from the door. "Don't beat him for his stupidity."

Gerard just looked gobsmacked.

"You fucking twit! What if Ray was here, huh? What if the others had noticed you? I can't believe you'd be such a fucking _dumbass_!"

Frank went in for another slap, and Gerard grabbed his wrist, kissed the tip of his index finger.

"And what's with this boyfriend crap anyhow?!"

There was hurt in Gerard's eyes now, and Frank immediately wanted to get up and throw himself out the window. The vampire looked like someone had staked him right in the heart. He hesitantly let go of Frank's hand, happiness disappearing.

"Do you not...? I thought, maybe..."

"Idiot, ask a guy first," Frank muttered as he grabbed Gerard's shirt collar, yanking him down with a yelp. Their lips collided painfully, and Gerard's teeth sliced Frank's lip and then they were making out like teenagers, Frank's tongue down Gerard's throat.

"You're both disgusting," Mikey said.

Frank broke away, gasping. "I still don't get why you're here."

Gerard grinned. "You were attacked by a vampire, no one's going to kill you for being a sympathizer."

"Oh. But, I still-"

"He wants you to come with us. Have your picket fence and creepy adopted kids and all that shit," Mikey said dryly. "Be the new Addams family."

Frank snorted and looked at Gerard. "You're Morticia."

"Yeah I am," Gerard agreed. Then paused. "Wait, does that mean-"

"Yes, I'll come to Canada with you, you idiot. I've been babysitting you for years, a few more won't matter."

Gerard let out an excited noise and squeezed Frank close, and for once he could swear he could smell the faint hint of deodorant.


End file.
